Abstract nothingness.

Body:

White is my favorite color..if it is a color that is, Recovery is every other day in this hell I call my own. I fluctuate from sweet lolita to aggravated woman.. depending on how he makes me feel. a dungeon, a prison some nights i feel beautiful in my own vulnerability those nights,allowing him to press against me letting him put me to rest laying me down upon sheets he calls his own its your game,its your sword i take the roll of a doll in masters pity he says jump, and shes in the air the invisible exit, an impossible candyland i snap when im hurt quickly covering my wound with sand bits and tampered leaves damp and soiled from the rain night before and this mornings dew destroyed spiderwebs and ripped nylon fast,before he gets here! now,before he smells my weakness. hide, hide. It all floods within me.. sudden realization.. hits me in the head like a brick, scrapes against my cheek,I lose blood and chunks of skin welcome ur strength! farewell to little girl panties and baby feelings that break with every forgotten I love you or missed phone call no more will u slam me against walls and take control I am,in my own body confusion,contemplation indecision yet Ive grown a bra size no more, will I be your little girl at least not until alice eats the other side of the mushroom and falls back on your lap he says to poison and i can feel her sickness flowing through my veins.. his call, her cooperation. shaking from the smell of real cheese only plastic cakes and clay pizza please the tip of my hesitant tongue ive battered my own appetite teasing,tormenting,punishing what can i say? who else was going to do it? i had to take the job for a bit,while he was off duty. The story of Ana. The story of ana and her master