Friday, July 30, 2010

Just a thought..

tattoo "Forward" on my wrist.

I have no pity for people who aren't willing to help themselves.
Question; Is it that you want true happiness,or is it that you are ill
and desire a truly ILLUSIVE,FALSE happiness that will only make you
sicker? Keep moving forward. There is no sense or point in walking behind yourself..
Theres such thing as "back" and "forth" for a reason. There is purpose for the distinction between the two. To get to one point,or another... Don't sit there in extraordinary WONDER at why your universe hasnt turned if you are still returning,and taking that step behind.

I understand its beautiful to have those "walking backwards" moments, but keep them at mere is too beautiful to experience your ONLY steps solely from completely behind.

Action is the effect of state of mind,
Action is the effect of desire.
Everything in this human force revolves around desire...

Think for a minute, What thoughts are going through YOUR head?
where is YOUR energy truly taking you?

what do you TRULY desire?

or a feeble, selfish human settlement for an IDEA,and petty desire of something you desperately consider nice,but really isnt all that lovely for you in reality?

We have to take care of ourselves.

thought: If it makes you feel sick, Move forward. Don't try to change it, help it, or wait for it. Its not meant for you this moment.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


..almost is a good word.

A little bit of things I'm cooking up:

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


everyone please sign this petition to hopefully save this womans life,and many others in the future



HELP Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani Petition

help Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, any voice and heart counts.. though you may believe evil will not hear,the universe,and god will. Perhaps this is her destiny..A "god" in the sky orchestrates our chosen fate.. regardless of those around us..who loves us..and wish us to stay here on earth..(maybe death really is out of our hands,mere magic already cast upon stone,and glitter blown into air,much long before,and beyond our control..) but perhaps this is not... perhaps people,perhaps WE,are sent from god to help prevent murder like this.

This is disgusting, This is barbaric. Animals kill prey,in a less senseless manner.

This is a twisted act,hung behind twisted morals... All of control,and evil.

Man who feeds off of self righteousness and power over others..

If this was just,why isnt the man who she supposedly had relations with,paying a sin as well?

Though I'm sure she hadn't even sinned..and even so...

he who has no sins cast the first stone.. it is for God to judge, not men

and I dont believe ANY god would sentence a woman,nor man,nor child,nor animal,nor element to a death so brutal, for any reason.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

i had a dream that the earth was exploading ..

i miss those dark,anorexic roads...twisted,tormented, hauntingly narrow like the willows arm... the absent headlights,and ghost story... the cold so cold,it burns..cutting my flesh like a thousand swords..quiet mouth, screaming eyes.. our pupils jolt from every dimension..flickering the truth we cannot comprehend. A hand I cannot hold,but hold only because yours is forever lost..

a friendship off limits, an uncomfortable bond... is it right to even look in your eyes? or distantly pat your shoulder, with my own two cold,small hands..shaken,dry.

..but this isnt about you. you are merely an electron within the atom of this tragedy..

a single dainty feather blowing down along the summer stream..
a tiny strand of my sisters brown hair..

This is a picture beyond just your face.

I miss the red wooded barn, a texture my hands could almost close to running my fingertips over its coarse,painted skin,just from the car window alone..
An impossible embrace. Simple wood, i'll never greet,a substance to never connect.

And staring into the blackened country distance.. the tall grass, and flat lawn..mystique.. empty...death. I imagine you staring back at me,somewhere and somehow..watching this all.. the "dead end".. and ghost dolls...


Happy 4rth ;)

so much is pacing through this crazy little head of mine....

and it all goes "boom".

Sitting in my quiet room.. Fireworks are beautiful and mesmerizing .. ,but im flinching and jumping everytime one abruptly goes off,i feel like i'm in iraq...

I wish you were here,baby. My night would be complete..and not for security.. but for absolute bliss... I would have you to kiss,and lay down with..

I just want to turn off the lights and rest my exhausted body and mind... feel your strong arms wrapped around me. I would drift off so safe and soundly... without a worry..a care..or a thought in mind..just feeling..complete..peaceful nothingness.

and i have come to find,nothing can compare to nothingness.

perhaps this is a climax we all meet,in death.

There is happiness..and sadness..

all that falls into that contrast,

and then there is ..nothingness..

which i feel nothing can compare to..and i dont mean nothingness as in ...depressing..numbness.. not at all.

nor do i mean,the opposite of which..

but something so....strange.. as humans we cannot comprehend what this nothingness even means,because we are so used to.. SOMETHING..anything..even in emptiness,we mostly least SOMETHINg..some sort of suffering..

but this nothingness.. is like the peace i always feel underwater...with my eyes open,peaking at the tiny strands of hair swarming around my face..fogging my view of my floating,dancing hands..

and without a thought..without a feeling..without sorrow..without happiness,even...

that is when i found pure bliss..
in just raw...honest..human..EXISTENCE.. just be...just float..