Friday, November 27, 2009

My bedroom.

So, my furniture is yet to come.. But I am really excited on how I am going to "design" this room of mine ;p

I have decided to fill these walls with everything that reflects my personality.

FASHION-(magazine cutouts),
Inspiration- belly dancing images,
Legends- Marilyn monroe, I have always adored her ever since I knew of her existence
Fantasy/Surrealism(unicorns/mermaids/princesses/faeries,ballerinas,even goblins?)
Mark ryden ;) gets his own category.
CONCEPTS- Lolita lolita ;p Oh what is a room without expression of the things we adore? the things that possibly...make us?

Just a couple of days ago, I went into a home store,and saw the most mesmerizing,beautiful,painting. Whos elegance inspired my default photo. It was a painting (by who, I do not know!) Of a beautiful woman, in the Victorian era,sitting in a chair with a beautiful silk wrap. She had such a lovely side profile,and beautiful hair. So divine. so feminine. So delicate, yet powerful .I stared at it for so long, I didnt want to leave the store! Soon, hopefully I will have that painting. :) It was so huge, Will most likely take up most of one wall. but I adore it.
I also saw a beautiful painting of an autumn scene. The auburn/burgundy and amber colors stood out so much,and again,hypnotizing me with beauty and strange...yet pleasurable cognition..

I love staring at a painting..or smelling candles for cognition
sends so many feelings in my head
and inspires me so much.

just looking at the autumn painting, I thought of almost.. alittle story in my head.. or movie if you will. of what would and could go on in the painting...wishing these places where real life, so i could visit them if they werent already.

was bored tonight,so by my closet.. (I like to call the little fashion area, full of clothes,my collection of shoes,socks (mostly my fancy for knee highs) bags,neck ties,and hats... I decided to put back up my old fashion mag cut outs! ;) mostly urban outfitters cut outs. I love beautiful images. I want to full my room with this.

I dont mind if everything clashes, as I have said.. I want it to reflect and express ME.. I dont care if it seems like one big clutter, as long as its a clutter of art i enjoy.I want EVERYTHING I adore to be in my room, not just one thing. I want all the odds,and even, all the elegant,and edgy,all the soft and loud. everything ;)

Oh, I love himmm.

Date written: Nov 20, 2009 9:03 PM

Why do you beefsteaks, pork sausages... in your pictures? What does meat means for you?

"I wrote an essay about this: I've been asked over and over why I paint meat? «I suppose I have to admit one of the reasons I like to paint meat is because people do wonder about it so much. There are actually many reasons. One of my primary thoughts was expressed simply by Virgil Crow when he wrote "Life is a great illusion". We are creatures of pure energy and "Meat" is the element that keeps us here. I think about how "Meat" was once part of a beautiful living creature that has then become an inanimate "substance" that we treat with little regard or awareness of what it once was. It was once alive. Recently the Austrian artist Flatz made the news when he dropped a dead cow from a helicopter in Berlin. I don't care much for this kind of "shock" art but there was a very interesting part of the story. An animal loving teenager attempted tolegally stop the performance. The court rejected the complaint because the cow had the legal status of food. That fascinates me. At what exact point does the animal cross the line and become meat? From the Bible, Matthew 26:26 "And as they were eating, Jesus took bread and blessed it, and broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said, Take, eat; this is my body." I have found this Bible verse the source of much curiosity.How bizarre a ritual Catholics partake in each Sunday as they eat the body of Christ in communion. The literal interpretation of this can be the source of endless visuals from the humorous to the horrific. There is an obvious horror connected with the meat industry. The blood, the gore, the inhumane butchery. So many of us indirectly participate in this with our ravenous consumption of meat. Sue Coe has explored that arena exquisitely in her work and writings. In my own art I am not personally making a statement or judgement about the meat consumption in our culture.I feel more like I am just observing it. Just like T-rex, I myself am a passionate meat-eater. I feel that the consumption of animal flesh is a natural primal instinct just like sex and making paintings. But there is that paradox of knowing how that scrumptious porterhouse made it to my dinner plate. We have lost any kind of reverence for this. It would beinteresting if people would have to kill an animal themselves before they earned the right to eat it. Beyond the conceptual impact, meat simply has a very strong visual quality. The wonderful variety of textures and patterns in the marbling of the meat is sumptuous. Subtle pinks gently swirl around with rich vermillions and fatty yellow ochres. These visual qualities alone are seductive enough to make meat the subject of a work of art. Meat is glorious to paint. It is so easy to transcend the representational to the abstract. Meat has been a subject for painters from Rembrandt to Van Gogh» "-(Mark Ryden for Juxtapoz Magazine, October 2001).

Forgive the top not making sense,I simply copied and pasted it off of an interesting website,that was how it was written!

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Alot of people have alot of different perspectives of who I am. As people do with everyone, of course, nothing unique or special.

I'm a different person to my mother,than the person I am to my boyfriend,then the person I am to my doctor,then the person I am to my brother.

Alot of people have.. no idea. Theres a very scarce amount of those who actually hit the nail on the head,or at least begin to understand the tip of a few layers of me, (or desire to attempt).

Some times I enjoy being able to float from persona to persona.. Like an undercover secret agent. Like a sly actress.. Pulling off different hair colors and clothing styles... Thats all that people can understand,comprehend..or see nowadays. Hmm... Or maybe.. These "days" have no relevance,and they have never seen beyond that, ANY day..whether it being now...a days..or hundreds of years ago. ;) So I am going to scratch that "nowadays" term off of my brain.

If I look a certain way,Its all that I must be? If I look a certain way,the depth lies within the material of my clothing.. IT t all ends here, like a restricted area. And If I look that way,it must mean that everything else beyond and underneath that,MUST align and follow up,supporting the initial appearance?

example: If I am blonde, I must ONLY listen to britney spears and care about makeup.
If I have BLACK hair, I must ONLY listen to metal, and dress gothic.

I'm Pretty,So I must be a bitch.

I have Big lips, So I must inject them.

I have skinny arms/legs,So I must be anorexic.

I like hello kitty,so I must be "scene".

I got drunk,and cut off my hair one night..
After realizing What a mistake and tragedy that was,
I bought Extensions..So,I must be scene for wearing them too.

I wear Skirts,So I must be a slut.

I take revealing photos,So I must be easy.

I don't reply to every message,comment,or pic comment..
So I must be a stuck up,Ungrateful,and unappreciative Little bitch.

I'm friendly to both sexes,..
So I must be excessively flirtatious,thus,I'm a whore.

My hair is dark,and sometimes Falls over my eyes,
So I MUST be emo.

I write emotional poetry,and I'm not afraid to Express myself,
So I must be even more Emo.

I have a ton of myspace photos,
so I must be self esteem less,Craving Attention..
and fishing for compliments.
Strangers on myspace,Have a huge effect on my life,
because other's opinions must Boost my ego.
My Self esteem must revolve on the New pic comments!Sign I see.

I photoshop some of my photos,So it MUST mean I'm
secretly hideous and unrecognizable in person.

I say I'm deeply in love,but it must be bullshit.. Because I'm Young.
I say I'll want the same person,and care for them forever,but It must Mean nothing,
because I'm Confused,I have lack of experience,And I'm still yet to mature.

Alot of people..naturally stereotype without thought,its a part of our human nature,sadly. But I really respect/admire/am drawn to those who see so deep and beyond, to those who REALIZE,there is so much everyone. We are puzzles,stories,equations. There is so much more to us than our bodies. There are stories and beautiful fairytales waiting to be told beyond the soft or coarseness... the touch of our human skin.

do I not seem like the "type" to you? .. Or.. "Oh..does it SURPRISE you that I am interested in this or that?" all because I look like.. that or that? They have NO idea. Is this why I am so seemingly significant once you get to know me?? Because I within your stereotypes? I'm

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Mmm thought this was interesting!

I didnt write any of this, I came across it on a blog posted by a woman named Barbara Bartlein, The People Pro

Thursday, October 27, 2005

How to Deal With Energy Suckers (Negative People)

We all know some; maybe at work or even at home. The Energy Suckers. They will suck you dry if you fall into their trap.

Energy Suckers are negative people. It’s easy to know when you are with them because the longer the exposure, the more drained you feel. You try to avoid them, but Energy Suckers thrive on spreading bad tidings so they seek you out. They show up in your office, at meetings, and family gatherings.

If they call you on the phone, your stomach starts to hurt as soon as you realize who is calling. While you pretend to listen, you are really thinking of a way to get off the phone. In fact you try to return their calls when you know they won’t be at home or at the office. You just want credit for the call; you don’t really want to talk with them.

While you don’t want to join them in the mud, they seem to know when you are vulnerable and try to pull you in. You may even find, to your dismay that you agree with some of what they are saying.

So how do you protect yourself? Here are some of the common types of Energy Suckers and how to deal with them:

  • The Seagull—These are often managers or supervisors. They fly by when everyone is busy with a project, deposit garbage all over and soar away after destroying enthusiasm. They tend to pick at details like they are combing the beach, making negative comments as they work. They leave staff and co-workers feeling defeated and unappreciated.
    Solution: Obtain careful clarification before starting a project. If there has been confusion in the past with this Sucker, you may want to get things in writing.
  • The Yeh-Butts—While they pretend to be friendly, their real focus is on the negative. They often use the phrase, “Yeh, but…” They then describe why the procedure, idea, or approach couldn’t possibly work. Experienced “Yeh-Butts” extend their method to other areas of life as well. If you mention the great weather, they say, “Yeh, but it’s supposed to rain by the weekend.” If you tell them they look nice, they say, “Yeh, but this dress really isn’t in style anymore.” They are not happy and they want you to know it.
    Solution: Ignore Yeh-Butts and their awful phrase. You may want to charge a quarter when ever someone in the office or at home uses the “Yeh, But” phrase.
  • The Muck Mixers—These are the folks who love to stir the pot. They look for gossip or “information” that they feel they must know and then take it upon themselves to disseminate the dirt. They adore turmoil and conflict and will feed both if given the chance. Muck Mixers often “keep score” and tend to remember obscure information that can hurt others or their reputations. They are sometimes hard to ignore because their information is SOOO interesting.
    Solution: Avoid them like the plague or you will also become fodder for discussion. Their lack of productivity will eventually catch up with them. Make sure you are not standing next to them when they go down.
  • Melvin Milktoast or Dorothy Doormat—These are the male and female equivalents of the Martyr. They are absolutely convinced that no one has seen the trouble they have. No one works as hard as they do. And they are the only ones who do not get a break. They seem to find trouble and then want everyone to know how they fix things at great personal expense. They may try to make those around them feel guilty with their superhuman efforts.
    Solution: Let them work. You have worked too hard to have a balanced life to fall for this game.

    Stay away from the Energy Suckers in your life. Spend your time with people who lift you up…not pull you down. You will find your own energy to be contagious.
posted by Barbara Bartlein, The People Pro