Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Landfill.


       It's been so long, that I've really lost track of all the things that kept me sane...a past of apparent, threaded magic...yet it really did become too lose on me. The needle snapped, and it bled undone before my morphine eyes. They all pointed. They all giggled, as if my own skin was transparent fashion. Now I struggle frantically, picking up the pieces .. a quiet attempt to knit it all back...or somewhat, the fragments that are left.

  Everyone's eyes all on me... but my heart is set on you. 
In a world full of all these degrees and all these louboutins.. All I want is your love.

 Embarrassingly enough, I did it again.. yet again..and again... here I am... hello, at point A. Point fan-fucking-tastic. Mentally pinned underneath my imaginary/fantasy Joe.

      At this moment, I realize.. I could hate it all... in a matter of a sentence, it could all be gone... 
 Even if your life wasn't a fairy-tale, after-all..even if she ended up actually breaking your heart. 
I would still resent your pain,because I didn't ever mean enough to you to even cause a sting... 

 i wish I could, a part of me wants lie to you,just to see if you'll catch it...
ignore you,just to tell if you'll notice...
break you, just to see if you shatter...

 to tell the truth- i want you,but we both know that hardly matters... 

 At this moment, I realize... what I thought I realized... all dissolves in the slice of an instant...
 Even if I threw myself on the tracks, palm upright/ elegantly tilting my head up (all Juliet) 
a dramatic sigh as false lashes bat... your damsel awaits , yet your reaction inconsiderately sleeps through my squinted peek,  Would you even care?

I'm happy, I'm hungry, I'm sleepy, I'm drowning, I'm playful, I'm stagnant, I'm worried, i'm burried ,i'm striving. i'm profound, i'm pretty, i'm different...I'm blonde..wait, I could become brunette again.. I like the same music you do... i'll cook you homemade spaghetti. 


Ive aimed toward you... but nothing captures.
 we both know I love you,but that hardly matters.

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