Saturday, January 10, 2009

babydolls are softer than action figures.

Written on:Monday, December 29, 2008

Long scented hair,pretty googly eyes,pouty lips to kiss and porcelain skin,but squeezable tummys. We're not that scary. We're not that dangerous. At lease I'm not.

Boys are so confusing,So scary. I dont know what to believe anymore. What if I just dont care? You all bad mouth each other anyway. Ive heard it all, You all say the same thing. If I talk to a guy about another guy, Its almost like I pulled his action figure string.. Out comes the most repeatable phrase. "Oh he just wants to fuck you."

How the hell am I supposed to know? and guys bitch about cunt "feminists"and getting no respect? FUCK THAT. you guys say wretched nonsense about eachother! you should be blaming yourselves for the rep that hangs above your head.

My mind is filling up so full,its heavy and I want to lay down. I dont want to get hurt,but I Want to figure it out myself.. I want to be smart,but I dont want to miss out,and I dont think it matters anyway..

we could all die tomorrow,and If we did,I dont think i would be giving a damn about whens the right time to kiss a boy,or if It would be a sin to want alittle more..

People dont get it. People dont understand compassion,and compassion doesnt only mean compassion..or sentiments.. it comes in so many different shapes and sizes,.. Compassion is what love means to you. Thats what matters. Whatever makes you happy,whatever you crave. Ok.. well,maybe not..if youre a crack whore on the street begging for your next fix which you consider your "Compassion".

I just mean.. I dont know what I mean. Maybe you get what I mean. I'm ranting to myself,ITs like a public diary. I dont even want any comments on this..because I feel doesnt matter. Dont kiss my ass,dont suck up to me. I'm not perfect anyway.

my point is,

Its hard. I want some sort of answer,I dont understand the majority of guys. I Dont understand love,or sex,or any other strange things like that.

Why does it have to be this way? theyre either too loving,too willing,or too fucking bitter and not willing at all.

Why does it have to be a big fight? Why does it have to bother me,no matter what? How do you know if someones lying? How do you know if you shouldnt be their friend? And..How do you know if someones worth all the pain? No matter what anyone else says.

It'll be three years soon. I feel hopeless and numb.. but .. It feels good,sometimes. I like it.. sometimes..

The good thing about babydolls,is theyre softer than action figures.

At Least we're not as confusing.

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