I was in a rush when writing this.i just needed to get it all down into words,I havent written anything really in a while and I Feel like i'm going to explode.
AS i came to the end of this entry,I realized I wasnt even done yet.I havent even began to touch up on what I was initially trying to point out or express ..so sometime later,when I have more time,I Will add more and hopefully finish what still burns inside of me.
I'm trying to get my life together. I'm trying to cleanse myself. I'm desperately trying to scrape out all of the bad in my life,and replace it with the good. From food,to fashion,to overall internal emotion and universal perception.
Filtering out the dirt and filth from my life.
Washing away all the muck and grime.
All this corruption,negativity,and brainwashing scum.
All of what we've ever known,seems so evil to me.
Ive tried to look at it differently,but no matter how you twist it,it still remains.
Ive realized,sometimes you cant just try to look at a certain situation differently,and then be ok with it..
sometimes you have to actually get out there,and physically,spiritually remove it and replace it with the better good.
At first,This may seem difficult,to nearly impossible to others,sometimes even to myself.
Later on in,it may still even seem difficult to nearly impossible,
and Perhaps even years down the road it may still seem humanly ignorant,naive,stupid,queerly childish,and still IMPOSSIBLE.
Frankly: "retarded." or "dumb" of me to ever think about attempting to succeed or striving to obtain and reach.
Why is it so hard to do these things?
Why is it so hard to stop eating meat?
Why is it so hard to stop eating dairy?
Why is it so hard to stop purchasing leather,Wool,or fur? (Theoretically and hypothetically speaking. Because I personally have never purchased any of the few)
Why is it so hard to cut out television from our lives?
Why is it so hard to stop consuming products that were tested on animals?
WHY? because its ALL We've ever known.
So of COURSE,its going to be difficult and intimidating to break away from it,at first.
When we,as Americans, As human beings,are raised a certain way,in a certain strict environment for such a long time..(not even necessarily specifically an AMERICAN or strict environmental thing,just using that example for myself)
Its like learning a whole other language
or learning to walk again,
except this time..its not walking,but its running..or FLYING!
Smudging the rules,
mixing up the books
taking away whatever spiritual law that was laid down for us to "follow" even when our hearts tell us otherwise.
When we are around certain things for a long time,
Soaking in the essence and concept of the habits
Going along with mechanical,daily routines
of what to wear
what to eat
what to purchase
what to watch on tv
it gets to you.
it starts to almost penetrate your brain cells,at least seeping deep inside until our thinking and reasoning processes are altered to those around us,all due to cloned,stern daily cognition. You see something,it gets inside of u,and in a way,its an actual brainwashing process! ha
At least I believe so.
Forgive my innocence for not having the proper terms for this:-
but its like when you go to stores,and people Try to sell you things.
I cant go into a mall without people taking my wrists and softly pulling me over to fucking carts to try to sell me things.
forcing themselves upon me.
Then you have the media,
those superficial messages sending about our childrens ears.
The sexuality,(sex is a beautiful thing,dont get me wrong.When youre in love. Not when youre on some Bret Michael show,showing your tits every five minutes and probably fucking him off air.)
So I guess 'SEXUALITY' should not be the correct term to use,because i'm NOT agaisnt sex,dont get me wrong.
its just 'PROMISCUITY' that I have a problem with.
Then you have the violence as well.
My point is,these seem to all be brainwashing tools.
Also,thoughts of never changing certain ways of the world.
Thoughts of ONLY keeping the beliefs we all NOW live in.
LIMITING ourselves with shallow opinions of whats right and whats wrong.
never challenging the future,
never researching,experiencing,experimenting,or going out there to find the "NEW".
Never throwing away the "OLD".
Obviously,I am metaphorically speaking.
I do not mean throw out your old jeans and buy new ones ha.
forget those vintage ethics,and go get yourself a whole new way of Life,A fresh state of mind.
Stop thinking like others,and think like YOURSELF instead.
get your head out of your parents,or friends,or work buddies
and listen to the voice within yourself.
Even if people say youre wrong.
IT doesnt mean your wrong.
WHOS to say?GOD? maybe.
So,until you and god have a talk,
no one else should matter.
Their opinions should slip off your skin as if it was fucking baby silk.
I'm really sick of people sticking to the way the world is,and never looking,thinking,feeling,or tasting outside of the box,or out of the safe zone.
what IF everything you know and have ever known is WRONG?WAS WRONG all along?
I think people are scared to death of realizing that.
I guess its not a matter of realization,but Just getting out there and seeking whats BEYOND.
NO need for closure.
Life isnt a letter,stamped and sealed waiting for another one to be written.
I guess you can say,
Life is like photoshop :P
No need to completely erase and leave bare.
Take what you have,and Draw over it.Edit,alter,Create.
W'ere all artists.
No need to fear.
No need to hate.
Keep focused,And lose our way..
Everything is good.
I've been studying alot about the great originations of the important psychologists of the world.
People who have discovered.
People who have felt.
People who have challenged,questioned,argued and battled.
People who stepped out side of the box.
People who searched,and searched without officially seeking,(because I personally think the human brain is a science that will NEVER be 100% exact or accurate with even the GREATEST research,or depth in study.
THEORIES, THEORIES are what they are.
I give these men props.
Not For necessarily disagreeing, but for feeling.
Feeling that there is another way,
that this isnt the only way,
that its not THE way
but that there possibly is more out there.
then again,not really 'facts'
since fact always battles fact,
and both of them cannot be correct
doesnt that leave with two opinions?
I question things. I Dont agree.I feel beyond.I'm open to possibilities.
I want to have my own theory.
Maybe I already do now.
Maybe someday I Will have a PHD and you'll see my theory or way of life written on paper.ha
Then people wouldnt tell me i'm crazy.
I DO have Einstein hair in the morning,after I roll out of bed. ;p
but moving on-
(nice to joke between the seriousness of it all)
Its hard to stand strong with your own beliefs.
Its hard to keep your own voice loud and out there,when almost EVERY SINGLE person you know,thinks otherwise and constantly tells you you are wrong and you need to change.
People constantly put the way of how things "have been" down my throat,trying to convince me that the "has been" always "Should be" and "Will be".
FUCK . NO.
That isnt the case at all.
Its hard for us to move on and make our own lives,when the world around us seems to be swallowing us whole.
You know,i'm not even going to blame the beautiful mother.ITs not the earths fault.
Its the people that live upon.
I have all the facts I need.
I have all the knowledge.
I spend hours researching,writing down notes after notes after note.
Now,After gathering the information,
its all about actually changing my life.
I have the content all on paper,
i just have to bring it to life.
its really not as hard as people think..
Most of what "normal " people eat is complete shit anyway.