Saturday, January 10, 2009

Dearest Grim.

I flirt with the grim reaper.

then I stubbornly push him away..
I accept his touch,and tell him of how much I love..
then I force him out of my sheets.
I'm sorry for confusing you..
I am now indecisive because of he.

You can blame him if you want.
I can get his cell number for a sec..
wait no,i dont have it anymore.My bad.
I must of threw it out that night he made me mad.

Youre looming over my bedside again
whispering to me..
vowing perfection.
promising a land of mellow feel
telling me you can take me to a world of happiness
where the pain stops..
where the ache is no more.
where I can finally breathe yet in a state of breathlessness.
everything so bright,and still.
oh the air and glorious land,calm and serene..
You tell me I shouldnt dread this broken heart
for its not a bad thing..
you can make me beautiful again,all because of he.


no more,not tonight.not again,you charming phantom.
let me be
let me sleep
dont ruin me,
spoil or deflower

its not of tonight
for this is over

but tell me, handsome ghost,
is it you who would courageously hand me your raven cloak,
If i was shivering naked,alone.. in the cold?

youre such a ghastly creature,but yet I succumb to mesmerize .
your beedy little hollow eyes
eyes of black,and eyes of an end
Your face is of nothing,for your shape is an endless change
you transition to whatever I desire,
something new and different every day.
but no matter the color your breathtaking eyes,
or your gorgeous cheekbone height,
your touch is still of frostbit ice.
and your scent of musky death
...hmm... with.. ..peppermint,I assume?

wait..what the fucking mary..

why am I thinking of this?
go away.I dont care of how you smell.
Dont lay your hand there.
dont try to undress me..
you cannot take this off..

wait,its ok..theres still time.I can escape.I dry my swollen eyes.
I wont let you endure me,and take me in..

I can stop you..I know i can.I can vanish you,into thin air.. you will be no more. you will exist,none.
My fingertips can slip into your skin,i can wave inside your stomach,
I can break apart the air particles and fragments of your ribcage,
watch as they all come apart and separate
like tiny specks of floating dust
youre not so strong,now are you,baby?

transparent,you are made of glowing air,cold breath and sweet yet frigid words. LIES, I SAY! MERE LIES!

you have no flesh
you have no bones
I thought you said you could take me somewhere?
how is that,if we cant even hold hands?
youve not a heart,youve not even a soul.

no.. I wont,i will not love you.
I will banish you back to your tower of agony..
No,i will not be your queen of misery.

I can kill you,here and now.I can slay you with my repression...with my silence,and my non expression.

now let me stay,and let me be.
I am now of this pain,because of he.

I have the will,do I have the power?
Or maybe I have the power..but the will is absent.
or perhaps its taking a shower or reading an intriguing book somewhere..

wake me the fuck up.
i'm gone,i'm lost.
i'm numb,I cant feel anyone or anything

I dont know i dont know anymore
i dont know anything
i'm just falling
and sleeping
and getting off
and thinking
and not even enjoying myself

and not even crying..

i cant even shed a tear.

now let me live
and let me rot
my poisoned eyes,reject your soothing gauze
for there is no other reason for me to see
I am now this dead inside,because of he

i'm not even living.
i'm just rotting...remember..?and waiting..

the only thoughts that stir within
are of the once inebriated one who chose to shed of silent romance.

you have no fucking idea.

I am this maiden of sin
and I am this masochist
I am this pure yet dying,deadly
troubled,and corrupted because of he


i hope he sleeps well.

who do I have?
what do I have?

what is here?who is there?
who are you? who am I?

What am I doing here...alive?

come back to me. i'm waiting.

I dont even know of what to wait for,anymore.

i feed dead and left out here to decompose.

what the fuck?Why?

I dont want to die.. Ive made up my mind.wait no,I cant do this anymore.
come back,again..Ive changed my thoughts,and choice,i'll give this a try!
to die..for to die,would not be of having to ever tell you i'm sorry..
i'm this death strung and in love with you,because of he.

thank him.thank him.

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