You remind me of myself

You remind me of myself

Dear jerkface,


You remind me of myself.
lost and locked within the cruelty of the world
sad,but pretty if you look close enough.

you remind me of the rain
sad but strong,and full of pain

you remind me of the snow
cold and numb but so beautiful to stare into

you remind me of my family
vindictive and hateful towards me

you remind me of the best pieces of me
you just always remind me,of powerful things.
hurtful things,and wonderful things.
that is why i love you.
I know now,of why I love you.
i wish I could finally tell you.
All those nights I couldnt find the words,and you kept asking me to find them.


when i think of you and all the pain you brought me,
it brings a smile to my face
because people in the world dont realize
the beauty in being able to have such an affect on another human being.

when i think of your face,and lips,your eyes and hair and hands
i get a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach
and warm chocolate pudding oozes out of the tips of my fingers
i am warm and overflowing with my love for you
i am warm.i am in love.
"do you feel warm and tingling inside?"
yeah,i do. I always do.
i remember the night i asked you if you knew what it felt like
and you said no,and laughed at the metaphor i used
that night,i sighed.
but now your neglect towards me, puts a smile on my face
because people in the world dont realize
the beauty in being able to have such an affect on another human being.
but i know of it.
i know how it felt,baby.I shouldnt even be referring to you as baby,because your baby might hate me.

you remind me of my mother
you remind me of my brother
you remind me of my sister
you remind me of the father i never had
you remind me of my past
you remind me of tonight
you remind me of my future
you remind me of my life
you remind me of myself.

you remind me of yesterday
you remind of me of the dinner in my microwave.
you remind me of childhood memories
you remind me of my stepfather.
you remind me of when he took me horse backriding.
you remind me of the mountains in the distance
and the smell of the fresh forest air
you remind me of when he hurt me
you remind me of the first time i started masturbating.
you remind me of chocolate chip cookies.
(youre not as mean as you look,are you?deep down,an in your core.your center.your middle. your probably warm and chewy.)
it brings a smile to my face
because people in the world dont realize
the beauty in being able to have such an affect on another human being.


you remind me of the morning dew that was on the grass outside of my house.
you remind me of ....well fuck,I cant even remember any past conversation we had right now. my mind just went blank,because The more I think of how much you loved me.. the more I feel hollow,because it wasnt all that much.

yet,i'm not done.thats how much i still love you-


you remind me of the hot coffee on the kitchen table
delicious,but too strong to enjoy,completely.
you remind me of the commercials on tv.
the ones where they talked about the destruction of alcohol awareness,and
then they posted a rehab center hotline at the bottom of the screen.
well,if i had a hotline.it would be : 1-800- i-miss-you-lets-startallover -again.
you remind me of the moon,and stars.unobtainable.untouchable.
you remind me of the ocean,infinite and mysterious
you remind me of when i was born-i cant remember when i was born.but thats why you remind me of when i was born,because i cant really even remember you.
you remind me that i am someday going to die,i dont know when i'm going to die.and i dont even really know you,anymore either.
you remind me of the power and strength within myself
you remind me of when I hurt myself to bleed
affected,and yet the blood is almost artistic.
but the pain brings a smile to my face
because i never knew another human being could ever make me feel this way.
but now,i realized otherwise.
i'm not holding onto you.
i'm expressing you.
the piece of you,thats still deep within me.
thank you,darling.

thats the last of it. :)

That the end of my precious word gifts to you.

No more,I'm not writing of you anymore.

No more pictures,stories or poems.

I'm starting allover again.

i'm making a new world,one that doesnt include you.