Saturday, January 10, 2009

Three quick bulletin post rants into one

Written on:Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Date: Jan 8, 2009 9:25 PM
Subject: im sooo sick of
Body: sex on tv.
or even those.. seemi..ngly "..roman..tic" steam..y love scene..s.

it makes.. me want to puke.
every.. chann..el,..every.. big time actor.. or,
every.. show,..every.. movie...

i'm sick of this.
if i wante..d to watch.. P*..O*..R*..N*..,..then I would.. go searc..hing to watch.. that.
but no,i dont want to watch.. a damn porn*..o....yet the media.. shove..s it down my throa..t.

i want to see somet..hing conce..ptual..,not even reall..y roman..tic.
but OOHHH..HH noooo..

there.. cant be a singl..e damn movie.. witho..ut some sort of "ohh yeah baby give it to me" ha-..ha. or heavy.. breat..hing.

yes,..this is an '..analy..zatio..n' but its not '..over'.. at all.

idont.. know why we cant see movie..s witho..ut girls.. nake-..d or guys on top.


but,..on the brigh..t side .. (..since.. I dont want to be a stubb..orn mistr..ess of negat..ivity..)

the young.. brook.. shiel..ds is my favor..ite atm :P

ive been brook.. shiel..ds crazz..yy

im obses..sed with how she looke..d as a young.. girl
not that shes not gorge..ous now,
but somet..hing about.. her in

prett..y baby & the blue lagoo..n.

shes so fu ck inggg.. gorge..ous.

her eyes,..her face,..her hair,..her cute smile

now THAT is reall..y beaut..y.
witho..ut a speak.. of makeu..p or any of those.. fake shall..ow crap you see on mtv nowad..ays.

screw.. kim karda..shian

brook.. is the real deal :P






Date: Jan 7, 2009 1:39 AM
Subject: I want to show
Body: mysel..f,

Its a gift.
I want to give this,..more than I ever want a singl..e thing.. in retur..n.

but I feel like there..s no one to tell....
no one to show,..or to upon.

even when im,
peopl..e arent.. liste..ning....
peopl..e dont want to liste..n..
peopl..e dont recog..nize beaut..y every..time its there...

Its taken.. for grant..ed.
Or its doubt..ed,
or its extin..ct.

Maybe.. its not desir..ed,
Maybe.. it doesn..t matte..r.
Maybe.. to you,..its not signi..fican..t.

To him,..a grain.. of salt is more glori..ous.
so I would..nt be surpr..ised,..if you turne..d away and scorn..ed me.

These.. piece..s of us,..under..neath.. us,
insid..e of us..
are so beate..n.

my feeli..ngs,..are unkno..wn to the world...
By them out there..,I am effec..ting the unive..rse.
I am eithe..r or

I am so alive..,but I feel so dead to my power...

We have somet..hing out there..,for all of us,

I just haven..t found.. mine yet.

so to my other.. half,
I am invis..ible.

my logic.., my sensa..tions..,
its laugh..ed at,
made fun of or mocke..d

its abuse..d,..twist..ed and manip..ulate..d

its all broke..n apart..,and taken.. witho..ut permi..ssion...

I feel like i can fly,..but i'm not happy.. enoug..h to..
You have to be eupho..ric to fly.
Other.. wise, just soar until.. you weake..n,..float....
and crash...

Date: Jan 2, 2009 11:31 PM
Subject: I dont under..stand.. love.
Body: at ALL.

its so beyon..d my morta..l compr..ehens..ion.

its like......this..... alien.. life form....

its so screw..ed up

so many rules
so compl..ex
the more love movie..s i watch..,the more i want to cry
the more broke..n heart..s i see,..the more crazy.. i becom..e..
the more magaz..ines or adver..tisem..ents

of "..what is he REALL..Y"
or "..FIVE signs.. that hes"

so many "..what not to dos"
or what you shoul..d do..
and so many probl..ems..
and trust.. issue..s
and obses..sion

what if he uses you for sex?
what if hes at first..,but then an assho..le?
and what if youre.. too bitte..r....too cold....and indep..endan..t
or what if youre.. too open,..too lovin..g,..and too that you seem cling..y and pathe..tic?
what if the perso..n you love gets tired.. of you?
what if they flirt.. when they arent.. aroun..d you?
what if they still.. talk to their.. ex,..and still.. love them and want to get back with them?

what if they dont suppo..rt your dream..
what if there..s so many thing..s that they hate about.. you?

so many damn quest..ions.

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